Rules for the Non-Military

Rules for Kickin’  Ass:

Dear Civilians, ‘We know that the  current state of affairs in our great nation has many civilians up in arms and  excited to join the military.

For those of you who can’t join, you can  still lend a hand. Here are a few of the areas where we would like your  assistance:

1. The next time you see any adults talking (or wearing a  hat) during the playing of the National Anthem- kick their ass.

2. When  you witness, firsthand, someone burning the American Flag in protest – kick  their ass.

3. Regardless of the rank they held while they served, pay the  highest amount of respect to all veterans. If you see anyone doing otherwise,  quietly pull them aside and explain how these veterans fought for the very  freedom they bask in every second. Enlighten them on the many sacrifices these  veterans made to make this Nation great. Then hold them down while a disabled  veteran kicks their ass.

4. If you were never in the military, DO NOT  pretend that you were. Wearing battle dress uniforms (BDUs) or Jungle Fatigues,  telling others that you used to be ‘Special Forces’. Collecting GI Joe  memorabilia, might have been okay when you were seven years old, now, it will  only make you look stupid and get your ass kicked.

5. Next time you come  across an *Air Force* member, do not ask them, ‘Do you fly a jet?’ Not everyone  in the Air Force is a pilot. Such ignorance deserves an ass-kicking (children  are exempt).

6. If you witness someone calling the Coast Guard  ‘non-military’, inform them of their mistake – and kick their ass.

7.  Next time Old Glory (the US flag) prances by during a parade, get on your damn  feet and pay homage to her by placing your hand over your heart. This  includes arrogant politicians who think someone may be offended. Quietly thank  the military member or veteran lucky enough to be carrying her – of course,  failure to do either of those could earn you a severe ass-kicking.

8.  ‘Your mama wears combat boots’ never made sense to me – stop saying it! If she  did, she would most likely be a vet and therefore would kick your  ass!

9. ‘Flyboy’ (*Air Force*), ‘Jarhead’ (*Marines*), ‘Grunt’ (*Army*),  ‘Squid’ (*Navy*), ‘Puddle Jumpers'(*Coast Guard*) Bubblehead (Subsailor)etc.,  are terms of endearment we use describing each other. Unless you are a  service member or vet, you have not earned the right to use them. Using  them could get your ass kicked.

10. Last, but not least, whether or  not you become a member of the military, support our troops and their families.  Every Thanksgiving and religious holiday that you enjoy with family and friends,  please remember that there are literally thousands of soldiers, sailors, marines  and airmen far from home wishing they could be with their families. Thank God  for our military and the sacrifices they make every day. Without them, our  country would get its ass kicked.


…the Veteran, not the reporter,  who has given us the freedom of the press,

…the Veteran, not the poet,  who has given us the freedom of speech,

…the Veteran, not the community  organizer, who gives us the freedom to demonstrate,

…the Military who  salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, and whose coffin is draped by the  flag, who allows the protester to burn the flag.




If you don’t stand behind our  troops, PLEASE feel free to stand in front of them!

GOD Bless  America

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